by They say your first love will always be special. But sometimes things don’t work out and you grow apart. You might find another partner later in life, but sometimes it can be difficult to move on. Past relationship issues can sometimes get in the way and cause problems in your current relationship. Read on to learn the signs that your past relationship is affecting your new relationship.
Coping with a breakup can be difficult. Some people may have more difficulty leaving the relationship than others and tend to cling to it cognitively and emotionally, notes Mimansa Singh Tanwar, clinical psychologist, head of the mental health program at Fortis School , from the national mental health program Fortis.
The tendency to keep ruminating on what led to this, why did this happen, did he do something wrong, is he not good enough for his partner are some of the thought patterns currents that keep them obsessed with the past. So the person continues to swirl in feelings of anger, love, disappointment, sadness, or pain.
Signs Your Past Relationship Is Affecting Your New One
People who tend to define themselves (or their sense of identity) more with the relationship are those who feel like they’ve lost a part of themselves and have a hard time letting go, the expert says. Here are some warning signs:
1. Lack of confidence
Bad experiences in a past relationship can lead to concerns about similar events in the new relationship. As a result, the person may have difficulty trusting the new partner and draw negative conclusions about situations with their loved one.
2. Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem or lack of self-confidence due to a failed relationship can often create a negative self-image. Because of this, the person often struggles with feelings of “I’m not likeable” or “not good enough.” The person may either seek a lot of reassurance or engage in conflicts over small issues.
3. Comparisons
Every partner and every relationship is different. The inability to appreciate the uniqueness and compare the past relationship or partner’s attributes with the new one can create adjustment difficulties in the new one.
4. Fear of the unknown
Fear of what the future holds, what the new partner will be like, whether their values, attributes or interests are compatible or not, can make starting a new relationship difficult.
5. Attachment Style
People who tend to develop a strong bond and deep connection in their relationships may have difficulty letting go. This can also affect the new relationship.
6. Romantic Concerns
Some people find themselves preoccupied with romantic experiences from their past relationship that may prevent them from effectively establishing a new relationship, says Tanwar.
How to deal with a broken relationship?
It’s important to have a healthy approach to the loss of a relationship. While recognizing the emotional impact, understand that relationship breakdown is simply a part of life. This one relationship does not define your whole life or you. There are many other aspects that define what defines you as an individual. You have skills, abilities, and other relationships with family and friends that you can be proud of. It’s about maintaining positive self-esteem and viewing it as a learning experience.
