If you don’t already know, self-esteem is an essential part of maintaining our emotional and mental health. It is the foundation upon which our confidence, self-respect, and overall happiness rest. However, in today’s world, it’s all too easy to let external factors like social media determine our self-esteem. We often fall into the trap of seeking validation from others, allowing them to define our identity. What we forget is that self-esteem is the key to being happy in life.
To truly own our self-worth, we need to take ownership of our narrative and define it for ourselves. Let’s first see whether or not you need to work on your self-esteem.
What defines self-esteem?
Many of us unwittingly fall into the trap of seeking approval from others. We rate our self-worth based on societal norms, social media comments and likes, material possessions, or our position in life. While these external factors can add value to our lives, they shouldn’t be the sole basis of our self-esteem. True self-esteem comes from within, from our values, beliefs and how we view ourselves.
How can I improve my self-esteem?
1. Stop pleasing people
Many people get lost in the process of pleasing others. You can never make everyone happy. There will be haters. Agree with that. Constantly seeking approval and trying to please everyone around you can be emotionally draining. Fear of rejection could cause you to compromise on your values and needs. Instead, try to be authentic with yourself. Value your opinions and decisions and understand that not everyone needs to approve of them. And for this, choose the right circle. You might lose friends during this process, but it also means that these aren’t meant to be a part of your life.
2. Draw your limits
Setting healthy boundaries is crucial to protecting your self-esteem and self worth. Understand that it’s okay to say no when something doesn’t align with your values or when you need time for yourself. Boundaries are a sign of self-respect and show others how you expect to be treated.
3. Learn to say no
Make sure you don’t say no to yourself every time you say yes to someone else. Prioritize your needs and wants and be aware of your limitations. Saying no when necessary is not selfish: it is an act of self-preservation.
4. Have a goal
Purpose-made people don’t need fancy bags, material possessions, and social media likes to prove their worth, because their self-esteem comes from living and contributing to something bigger than themselves. Purpose-driven individuals thrive on their passions, values, and meaningful goals, allowing them to break free from the shackles of external validation and accept their true worth with confidence and contentment.
Tips for building self-esteem
Building self-esteem is a powerful way to boost your self-esteem and self-esteem. Here are some self-appreciation exercises to try:
1. Find a quiet, pleasant space where you can relax and focus on yourself.
2. Take a deep breath and focus on the present moment.
3. Write yourself a letter or record a heartfelt voicemail to thank you for being you.
4. Mention the things you love about yourself, your strengths, your unique qualities, and the progress you’ve made in life.
5. Be polite, compassionate, and sincere in your speech or writing when talking to a close friend.
6. Record the voicemail or letter and make it available for later hearing or reading.
7. Regularly set aside time to listen to the voice note or read the letter, letting the words of self-appreciation seep into your subconscious.
8. Pay attention to the pleasant feelings and emotions that arise when you read or hear your own words of praise for yourself.
9. Repeat this exercise as needed, especially in times when you feel underappreciated or underappreciated.
The only person who defines your value and self-esteem should be you, not your parents, teachers, managers, bosses, friends and lovers. You and just you. And if you don’t define it, someone else will.