You may still be in love with your partner, but there may be times when you feel like your relationship is going nowhere. Taking a break may seem like a good idea to find out what the future holds for both partners. This is not a total and definitive breakup, but a temporary separation. This can be a good thing for couples who want some space, but don’t want to permanently sever ties. However, there are certain rules you should follow when taking a break from a relationship.
When should couples take a break
Many people may wonder if it’s okay for couples to take a break. But taking a break is just a temporary chance for couples to understand what it feels like to be apart. They can devote time for personal growth during the separation period, suggests Dr Vaibhav Chaturvedi, consultant, psychiatrist, Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital, Indore.
Here are some situations in which it may be better for both partners to take a break from the relationship instead of trying to dwell on it.
1. You’re stuck in an on-off cycle
Lovers who often have an on-and-off relationship might find themselves caught in such a cycle. This is because they don’t know if they can improve their bond after each breakup.
2. You don’t know if you have a real connection
If you want to know if you have a real connection with your partner, but you’re not sure, you should take some time away from your relationship.
3. You find yourself avoiding your partner
If you find excuses to be alone, something is wrong. Many of us enjoy spending time alone, but if you’re actively avoiding your partner, that can pose a problem, says the expert.
4. You are afraid of starting a fight
If you feel the need to lie because you’re so afraid of starting a fight, your relationship has definitely reached a point where you need to take a break.
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Taking a break can help couples
Taking a break will give you the space you both need. If you’re in a long-term relationship, it can feel stifling. The space will give you the opportunity to realize whether you are happier with your partner or without him. Let’s look at other benefits of breaking away from “me time” and taking “me time”!
1. Taking a break helps determine your priorities and life goals
Time apart will give you the opportunity to focus on what you want in life. If you don’t have the same priorities and life goals as your partner and you can’t compromise, then unfortunately, this relationship is not for you.
2. Taking a break lets you know if you’re compatible
You may notice a number of differences between you and your boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean you’re not compatible. If you doubt your compatibility, taking a break is a good thing.
3. Taking a break gives you the chance to miss yourself
Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder. We tend to forget why we fell in love, and so distance can help you remember.
4. A breakup in a relationship could save it
Taking a break can be seen as a step before breaking up, but it’s not. It can save a relationship, make you understand if you have neglected your partner or taken them for granted.
Break rules in a relationship
There are some do’s and don’ts that couples should keep in mind when taking a break.
What to do in the event of a temporary break
1. Be honest
It can be difficult, but be honest about how you see your relationship, what you hope for, and how you feel.
Take responsibility for your feelings and actions before, during, and after the break, says Dr. Chaturvedi.
3. Define what a break means to you
We have different definitions of relationship breakdown, so it’s important to discuss what this means for you and your partner.
4. Set a time limit
Before taking a break, decide on the end date, as being on a break for an indefinite period of time can lead to relationship anxiety.
5. Set clear boundaries and expectations
Setting healthy rules and boundaries will minimize the risk of hurting your partner. Breaks can be difficult to manage when you’re so used to talking to your partner every day.
What not to do when you take a break
1. Don’t abandon your responsibilities
If your finances and those of your partner are linked, taking a break can be a little more difficult. So, discuss with your partner beforehand how you will maintain your responsibilities to each other during the break.
2. Don’t take a break to avoid a breakup
Some people want to take a break from the relationship when they should actually cut ties. Yes, some problems can be solved by taking time off, but not everything is possible.
3. Don’t force yourself to get back together
Breaks may end if you and your partner decide not to get back together. Don’t force your partner to get back with you.
Taking a break can raise questions and doubts. You can see a therapist without your partner if you feel the need.